Im the same Stuart, have had both 'option's and there is nothing like a monogamous relationship with someone you know you are so connected with.
We've only been together for 4 years but feels a hell of a lot longer... in a great way!
Can't imagine ever getting to the Open relationship stage again

It seems to be getting more common in the UK, or at least I seem to be picking up more couples on Gaydar than before.

I couldnt do the open relationship thing, I've got a real nasty jealous streak and if anyone as much as looked at my ex when I was going out with him there would be fireworks!

Yes Stuart..........monogamous gay men do exist. I think because of all the goodies on the web and, else where (eye candy and enticement), gay men are finding it more and more difficult to make a decision. On top of that, many want a guy that fits within a certain image and frame; I mean, look at all the various types of tribes on tribe.net. And with that in mind, I see that it’s really great to be with a guy who has the same interest (sexual and lifestyle) as you do, but not limited to.

I understand people do have their types but, there are those that want to try every type first before making a choice. I know finding a mate is like shopping or as a saying goes: finding the right pair of shoes that will fit. But over time, shoes wear out, just like lovers do. So, was your heart in it when you first met him? Did you feel love or, the ‘need’ to be loved? Trust me; you’ll know once you feel love (in-love) with someone.

Men still like to roam, (whether on foot or by looking) and even if you are in a long term with someone; to not acknowledge and observe the beauty of another outside of your relationship is like smiting your own eyes, or counting the days you’ve not look at another since you've been with your lover and, beating yourself up if you did look at another while with a lover (which is like someone in AA thinking he's cured himself of a desire, but he's only counting the days he's not had a drink)

For gay guys (or any guy), if you are In-Love, instead of just 'Loving' someone, there can be no amount of possessiveness or vindictive-jealousy within your relationships because, you’ll know what you have without challenge. And no other can interfere with that. Meaning, you can trust your lover to take a vacation without you if he pleases; or spend some time with his buddies without you; or hang out late at night without it being suspicious. Men, I do know this for sure, must have their level of freedom, without feeling like someone has a 'yoke' around their neck. And most men, before they say 'I Do' want to make sure they will live a life of joy with this person, instead of emotional and physical drama. For those in the possessive relationships -- why the need to demand the attention of another?

Do you know what the so-call crucifixion of Christ really is? As we’re told, he’s in the middle of two thieves. Symbolically, do you know that that means? The two thieves are your two eyes – they rob you of your truth, of seeing more then just yourself. You’re too busy looking for the hottest; the comparison; the most value; the same comfort zone; and what organization, religious sect, government, media, and cooperation outside yourself tells you what reality is -- A thief. The Christ figure in the center of the two thieves (your two eyes) is your true self, your true vision and sight, your soul, your heart, your intuition, your third eyed (as it as coined). It can resurrect your vision from the dead and make you see more clearly, from the spirit, the soul --- beyond the veal, into the heart/soul of another, a knowingness of oneness with all others, knowing there’s more then just yourselves in this Universe, even beyond your own cultural and racial separateness. Instead of being blinded or robbed by images (visions) that only arouse the base seal.

Your ideal mate, or the one you want to be with, must be, someone you feel is awesome and is of your likening and, he feels the same about you, in which the both of you can live the next 100 years together. Another words, you don’t want to look at the person one day and go, ‘Yuck!’ So don't compromise or just settle out of loneliness for anyone just because ya feelin mighty lonely and incomplete without someone. And of course do focus on what you want and desire, because you will be with him for as long as you both desire. Love self first, then the monogamous 'Lover' of your liking will appear. Your heart will know because that person will do, be, or say something that will resonate within your soul.

But I think gay men ought to at least stop putting so many damn demands on each other to be in the image and likeness of some fantasy or lifestyle, conjured up by someone else, broadcasting it to them.

What you should ask yourself is; "How many guys have I past up and/or ignored, that could have flowered into the most awesome relationship, because I'm so stunned by (what I consider) the hottest guy in the room with the hottest body -- that everyone wants?"